It started off with a simple, “Hey, how are you?” and escalated quickly to, “Are you free tomorrow evening? Want to catch up for coffee?”
This probably reads as a simple conversation between two friends, but it was actually a conversation between myself and my potential sugar daddy.
I met Rick* on a sugar daddy website and we exchanged a few messages — 37 to be exact. He seemed like a decent individual, someone I thought I could trust. We spoke about work and our interests. We tried to connect on a friendship level before actually deciding to meet up.
That day eventually came and, I can’t lie, I was nervous. I never pictured myself becoming someone’s sugar baby.
A friend of mine told me about a site matching sugar babies and daddies, so I decided to make a profile, because what else do you do when you’re a broke college student with a part-time job and a shitty pay rate?
I made sure my profile was discreet, but not to the point where I wouldn’t receive messages from potentials. Looking back, I guess what set Rick apart from the others was how friendly he seemed and the fact that he was willing to trek down to Toronto to meet me.
Our first encounter started off naturally. We introduced ourselves, shook hands and he led the way to his car so we could speak. We walked and talked our way to his car and, while listening to his every word, I also took a moment to observe him. Rick was shorter than me, but not by much. He was a little on the heavier side and in his late 40s.
When we eventually made it inside his car, we got straight to business without hesitation. One of the first questions Rick asked me was, “Is my age an issue? I know I’m quite older than you are.” Of course my response was, “No, your age is not a problem at all.” He then brought up the topic of what I’m comfortable and not comfortable with.
People often have the misconception that sugar daddies only want sexual favours and that the babies are spoiled with gifts, fancy dinners and money in return.
But I’ve felt that there’s this small pool of men who only want a simple companion — a person to call when they get lonely, or when they need a late-night dinner partner or a last-minute date for an important event.
I told him that I was not comfortable doing anything sexual. He asked if cuddling and kissing would be OK, which I told him was fine.
But slowly and surely, little red flags started to pop up during our conversation.
For one, even after explaining that I was not comfortable with engaging in any sexual favours, he still decided to ask if we would eventually work our way up to that level in our arrangement.
He asked what stores I enjoy shopping at and wanted to know if I treat myself to feminine grooming. He then explained that anytime I needed to wax, get my nails or hair done, or had the urge for a mini shopping spree, he would come with me. I kept thinking, why can’t I go on my own? That is usually me time — where I can sit back, relax and drown in my own thoughts.
Because Rick lives two hours away from the city, he suggested that we get a hotel room whenever we meet up, promising that he would not take my clothes off.
By this point I was feeling extremely antsy and just wanted to go home. So I politely let Rick know that I had to leave and would think about everything he said. Before leaving, he handed me $100 and asked for a kiss. I approved.
But during this kiss, he reached down my top, groped me and ended things off with a very inappropriate comment. I hurried home, checking my rearview mirror every other second to make sure he wasn’t following behind.
Before heading to bed, I checked my phone and saw an abundance of messages from Rick, with one of them reading, “I love you!”
I guess it’s safe to say that I definitely ended whatever we had going on.
I think there are many women out there who have a bit of curiosity when it comes to having a sugar daddy, but many might not admit to it because of shame, embarrassment, or even being ridiculed for their decisions.
Most of these men are longing for a fantasy type of connection because they are either lonely or want more out of their lives.
Everyone has personal preferences for how they choose to live and I would never shame anyone for the choices they make.
But I learned my lesson from this experience and realized that it’s not for me.
Even though I continue to be a broke college student with a part-time job and a shitty pay rate, I’m actually OK with keeping my sugar to myself.
*Not Rick’s real name.