Weighing in on the dating game

(Matt Oxman / Ryersonian Staff)

(Matt Oxman / Ryersonian Staff)

Lauren Lord
Ryersonian Staff

1. Who do you expect to pay on the first date?

When it comes to paying for the first date, I like to not set expectations. That way, I can’t be let down or have the end result ruin the date. I feel that the simplest way to go about this issue is that the person who instigates the first date should either pay or have a discussion with the other person to decide if splitting the bill is the best way. Realistically, it should be all about communication.

2. Do you think females are comfortable initiating dates with males? Should they be?

Not at all. I think girls have no problem necessarily asking a guy to hang out, but I can’t picture a girl going to a guy and saying, “Hey can I take you for drinks on Friday night?” or “Can I take you out for dinner?” Guys probably wouldn’t have a problem with being asked out, but it seems like women aren’t willing to do so because of fear of judgment. I think if women want to be considered as equals to men, even in the dating game, they have to be willing to change their expectations and perhaps take the first step in pursuing someone.

3. What do you think is the most successful way to meet a significant other? Is online dating overtaking the face-to-face interaction?

I’m not sure there is a most successful way to meet someone, and if there is, I haven’t stumbled upon it yet. The way that seems to be successful for most people is meeting someone through a friend. This is because that friend is a common starting off point in which to build a relationship. If there is no one of interest in your immediate social circles, then it makes sense to try and move out of those circles to find someone. Online dating provides the easiest means to do that. I wouldn’t say that online dating is taking over face-to-face interaction, but I would say that it is definitely becoming a more popular way to meet people because of its ease and reach.

4. You and your friends are at a bar. You see someone who you find attractive and you notice they can’t keep their eyes off of you. What is your next move and what do you think dating culture in 2014 expects your next move to be?

I would most likely wait for them to approach me first. If they are going to be staring at me all night, I would hope that person would have the guts to come and speak to me. Otherwise, they would definitely seem a little creepy. The thing about dating culture in 2014 is that no one really knows what they should be doing or how they should go about doing it. Lines that were once clear are now blurred and the rules of dating no longer stand firm in place.

5. If you could change anything about dating culture in 2014, what would it be?

We need to be less afraid of being judged and put ourselves out there more. We sit back far too often and wait for things to happen to us, when we should be pursuing the things that interest us. Unfortunately, I think technology has taken a toll on how we interact with others face-to-face and I think it is creating an awkward society that can’t interact appropriately.

Bruce Laregina
Ryersonian Staff

1. Who do you expect to pay on the first date?

Both of us, at some point. I don’t mind paying for the main expenses such as dinner, tickets, or drinks. But I’d like to see her pay for something because, let’s be honest, no guy wants to feel like their date is only there for the free stuff. This could mean she picks up dessert, popcorn, post-game nachos or even splits the bill. I’ll even appreciate a simple offer to pay even if I wind up not letting her.

2. Do you think females are comfortable initiating dates with males? Should they be?

If giving subtle (or not so subtle) hints that you’re interested in a man counts as initiating, then women are definitely there. But if we’re talking about actually asking someone out, I can’t say that’s ever happened to me. The bottom line is that asking someone out is hard for anybody, and most guys are probably tired of having to do it their whole lives. I know I would love it if a woman asked me out for a change, and I think other guys would too.

3. What do you think is the most successful way to meet a significant other? Is online dating overtaking the face-to-face interaction?

Call me old school, but I still think the best way to meet someone is through your friends. I have one male friend that goes on three to four new Tinder dates a week, but hardly any of them go anywhere serious. Meeting people online may be fun and even slightly addictive, but your friends know you way better than some dating website’s algorithm. But if they can’t find anyone for you, online dating is a good plan B just as long as you get to know each other in person after the initial conversation starts online.

4. You and your friends are at a bar. You see someone who you find attractive and you notice they can’t keep their eyes off of you. What is your next move and what do you think dating culture in 2014 expects your next move to be?

Dating culture in 2014 expects me to boldly saunter toward her, suavely deliver a Barney Stinson-esque pickup line and offer to buy her a drink. In reality, I’d skip all that and just say hi. Going to bars and meeting people is supposed to be fun, and there’s nothing enjoyable about reciting some lame pickup line. Besides, if you can’t sit down and have a casual, fun and normal conversation with someone and their group of friends then I can’t see how a relationship will work.

5. If you could change anything about dating culture in 2014, what would it be?

I’d get rid of texting, Facebook messaging, emailing and everything else related to that. I think the fact that it’s a common practice to arrange a date without even speaking with each other hurts our ability to communicate in person. If we actually called people to talk (which is what phones are actually for, by the way), we’d get to know each other better. Plus, there would be the added benefit of not having to wait the standard 10 minutes before replying to someone.

This story was first published in The Ryersonian, a weekly newspaper produced by the Ryerson School of Journalism, on April 2, 2014.

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