Over the years, I’ve had many friends come and go in my life. Whether it was from moving or changes in school, we’ve somehow always managed to lose touch. There have also been some friendships that have ended because they proved they weren’t good influences or true friends.
One thing that was hard about coming to Ryerson was having to move from a small city in New Brunswick to a massive metropolis where I didn’t know anyone. However, after taking advice from an ex-friend, I came out of my shell and made quite a few friends on my residence floor in first year.
Unfortunately, none of those people were in my classes, so that forced me to go out of my comfort zone again to make friends with my classmates. I can happily say that I am still friends with them to this day and some of them are very close to me.
Lia Pistilli, a third-year psychology student, said she met the majority of her friends through the Accepted at Ryerson Class of 2017 Facebook group.
“Two of those people are also in my year and in my program, and we all became very close throughout the past few years,” she said.
“Something that we all had in common was that our past experiences with depression and anxiety are what brought us to study psychology at Ryerson. Now I consider these two girls to be some of my closest friends.”
One skill you acquire as an adult is becoming more aware of the kind of people you surround yourself with. It’s easier to identify those who truly care about you as a person and others who just keep you around to take advantage of you.
I have personally been able to isolate the friendships that were one-sided – I was putting more into them than what I was getting out of them – and purged those friends from my life.
Getting rid of friends is a hard thing to do, especially if you’ve been friends with them for a long time. But it doesn’t mean you should keep them around just because you have history together. Sometimes it’s better to let people go when you realize they aren’t benefitting you.
At the end of the day you need to ask yourself: does this person really care about me or do they only come to me when it’s convenient for them? Am I getting back what I’m putting into this friendship? Am I always the one to initiate conversation or suggest a time to hang out?