I have a lot of anxiety about starting my internship at Sportsnet.
I remember how nervous I was just for the interview process. I stood in front of the mirror pretending to shake hands with myself: “Hi, I’m Melissa. It’s so nice to meet you,” I said to my reflection (who rudely ignored me).
I don’t know if I’m ready to work in a real office with real people who get real salaries. In some ways, it feels like nothing separates me from the younger version of myself who spent weekends playing Barbies with her sister, and selling lemonade in front of the driveway to make a few extra dollars.
How did I become this 21-year-old Melissa? I want to go home and play with dolls, not worry about whether the people at Sportsnet will let me take a lunch break.
What if nobody eats there?
I’ll have to sit at my desk and starve. My stomach will devour itself, and the lunch I packed will sit uneaten, but certainly not forgotten. I suppose I could pull out my sandwich and munch on it at my desk anyways, saying “YOLO” with my mouth full of cheese and bread.
A big part of my anxiety lies around the unknown. In school, I’ve always had a clear idea of what has to be accomplished. There’s a course outline where I can check to see what’s expected of me for the rest of the semester. But with my internship, I have no idea what these big-name people hope of me.
One of my fears is sitting at a desk and not knowing what I’m supposed to be working on.
Or, possibly worse, being told what to do and being unable to do it. There are a limited number of times you can ask questions before someone gets annoyed. If you annoy someone when you’re not being paid, what are the odds that they will want to hire you?
I am sure everyone who has an internship placement that is starting soon feels nervous, but I’ve been wondering if my nerves are more than the average person’s. I’m not sure how to combat these nerves. Will I find the answer at the bottom of a shot glass every morning, or by taking pills that help with anxiety?
Maybe the nerves will go away with time, but I have yet to meet someone who has told me that they too are nervous about starting their internship because they’re not sure if they’ll get a lunch break.